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Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I found my pit bull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He had peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60 dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

#6602285
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (5983)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by dogless (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (5404)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (10260)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML

#14780343
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (35035)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by gotnogame (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

#9004335
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (2027)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by dreadedmafia86 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (2187)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend who I've had serious feelings for for over a year decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up 6 months ago. 3 times. FML

#4993116
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

#17904987
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (3898)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (4115)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)



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