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Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

#15098921
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18946) - you deserved it (20005)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Eric Forrest - United States (Utah)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (2045)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (1539)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18943) - you deserved it (2540)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (2006)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

#6301
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (39393)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (5595)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (6470)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (60137)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18933) - you deserved it (4187)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18932) - you deserved it (4333)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (8260)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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