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Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (1864)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17857) - you deserved it (40943)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (3082)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (4926)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (59744)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (6318)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

#19621126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (1742)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:39am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17842) - you deserved it (2111)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML

#430302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17840) - you deserved it (59466)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (4411)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17831) - you deserved it (39032)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (49848)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (37330)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)



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