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Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (4176)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

#19018819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (2740)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (3324)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (45686)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was fired. Why? Because I called in sick on my daughter's birthday, even though you cannot "abandon work for personal affairs". My boss's favorite employee got to skip work on his wife's birthday two weeks ago. He still works here. FML

#8219030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (6492)

On 02/13/2010 at 7:29pm - work - by firedofbirthday - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (5655)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (3771)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (4098)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (55424)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (1755)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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