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Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (4087)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (8735)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (5843)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

#13953523
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (1975)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (5234)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20461) - you deserved it (69333)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (69064)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (6409)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (70166)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)



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