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Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

#19471721
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (6376)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

#18916870
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (6111)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (8446)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19784) - you deserved it (7370)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (6613)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

#895
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (6203)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (47187)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (63934)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (2539)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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