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Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15207) - you deserved it (29550)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15202) - you deserved it (8941)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I quit my job as a barista for one of our competitors with a couple of bucks more an hour. Two hours after I'd handed in my resignation, my boss approached me just to let me know that if I hadn't resigned, I would've been offered my own café. FML

#13341352
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15197) - you deserved it (28538)

On 10/06/2010 at 9:58am - misc - by thecasbah - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (86071)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (20301)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (19560)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (19644)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15189) - you deserved it (33361)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (6949)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

#19452879
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15190) - you deserved it (8006)

On 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by dl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15183) - you deserved it (34550)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15180) - you deserved it (49008)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15180) - you deserved it (27564)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)



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