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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

#5789992
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11220) - you deserved it (48765)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11220) - you deserved it (31920)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (40502)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

#73
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11214) - you deserved it (48817)

On 10/26/2008 at 11:27pm - misc - by Erasmus - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11214) - you deserved it (74305)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

#17818802
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (28493)

On 09/24/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by deee21 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

#12775979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (31672)

On 08/27/2010 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by yeah - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

#17794413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11205) - you deserved it (32716)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:40am - work - by unknown - Philippines

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (64187)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (24426)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

#12867561
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (20758)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by hatesgravity (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (1551)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11194) - you deserved it (32497)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)



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