Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (31089)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18521) - you deserved it (2834)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18517) - you deserved it (4771)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18517) - you deserved it (35168)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (2983)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (6090)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (1916)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

#392
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18512) - you deserved it (41845)

On 11/26/2008 at 1:18am - misc - by ripo95 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18512) - you deserved it (7811)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (5921)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (6347)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

#19399290
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18506) - you deserved it (4121)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: