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Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (22750)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (37195)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (52329)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (33838)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2348)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (1800)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (41057)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (2068)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (36791)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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