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Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

by penguins / 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

by firstdategoals / 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

by ShitFaced / 03/01/2012 at 6:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

by tryingtobepretty101 / 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

by GoldCyclone / 07/11/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

by corleon198425 / 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm / United States / Health