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Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

#12621906
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13498) - you deserved it (24305)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

#16169430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13495) - you deserved it (32256)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Plasticface (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13495) - you deserved it (23466)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

#3369756
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13494) - you deserved it (45902)

On 06/30/2009 at 3:55pm - love - by BrokeInLove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

#5108353
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13493) - you deserved it (41792)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML

#1315447
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13492) - you deserved it (71899)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13489) - you deserved it (4028)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (56889)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13482) - you deserved it (31872)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (1520)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (45106)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (43880)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (13308)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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