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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5492)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (9446)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (3328)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (49257)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (55377)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (4015)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (8625)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (2999)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (1847)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (2644)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (4086)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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