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Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (3193)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (2138)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (10057)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the phone with Microsoft Customer Service for about a total of 2 hours. That's the longest I've ever talked to anybody. FML

#17700838
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (4214)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Juicy12Jham - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (5677)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (7762)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (35939)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (60399)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (9005)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (2065)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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