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Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (47523)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

#19552160
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10981) - you deserved it (22223)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

#8988720
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (15404)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:18am - money - by secret - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (99974)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

#6322699
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10968) - you deserved it (23224)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by bananaface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10969) - you deserved it (35543)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10965) - you deserved it (19807)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10965) - you deserved it (34608)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (29600)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (39836)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10957) - you deserved it (31590)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (25353)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (2475)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)



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