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Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

#2670
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (5649)

On 01/26/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by dangyo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (3877)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (27528)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

#19591635
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17702) - you deserved it (1358)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17699) - you deserved it (3288)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

#20090541
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (1442)

On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17696) - you deserved it (36478)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17696) - you deserved it (64293)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17692) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17686) - you deserved it (5303)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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