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Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (1597)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (34456)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (5183)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (1800)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (5514)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (5192)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (4118)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (2891)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

#19793138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (2038)

On 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by shalara (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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