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Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

#2112400
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (69445)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I go. I then return with another pair for him to try on, and find him bent over and blurt out "What the hell's that terrible underwear?". The man turns around, revealing that I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

#2607
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (7920)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:09am - love - by Harmonia - Sent from mobile version

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15152) - you deserved it (53901)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (21809)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (4441)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (20393)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15130) - you deserved it (31812)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15129) - you deserved it (32319)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

#19392434
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15126) - you deserved it (5042)

On 04/01/2012 at 11:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

#13058451
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15125) - you deserved it (36120)

On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15125) - you deserved it (53216)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15121) - you deserved it (31742)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

#17489805
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (37873)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm - health - by gkid92 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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