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Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18868) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18863) - you deserved it (8254)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

#19722666
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (8492)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by dream1334 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (6753)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (6477)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (8024)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (51131)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (68908)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (36664)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (43100)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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