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Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (43313)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (16657)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (1850)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

#16382650
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (34650)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:45am - love - by epicfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, while at an important meeting at work, I got to watch helplessly as a police officer gave me a parking meter ticket. Added to that my boss chewed me out for "never paying attention and staring out the window during meetings". FML

#15756717
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (10311)

On 04/12/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by Kevin -

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22462) - you deserved it (6447)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22462) - you deserved it (1761)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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