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Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (6556)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17550) - you deserved it (1583)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (48470)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

#7412437
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by heterolifepartner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (27871)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17533) - you deserved it (62714)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (42387)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (6594)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

#20035907
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

#4203827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (58692)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by homewrecker (woman) - United States (Texas)



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