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Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (3506)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

#5886386
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (15466)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:38pm - work - by moduschic (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

#6612608
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19767) - you deserved it (48133)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (6408)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (2096)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

#19747527
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (1937)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (3165)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML

#18912127
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (9216)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (49847)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (61224)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (9076)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version



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