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Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (19467)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (47827)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML

#7218409
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (5157)

On 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm - love - by brokenrelicslost (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (9072)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (15029)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (5446)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (1599)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

#12715799
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (8787)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:25am - misc - by lostvideo - Israel (Yerushalayim)

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

#18309912
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by whyyy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (5886)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

#18685052
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (5314)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:38am - misc - by Anon O'Mous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (5803)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

#9081511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (3497)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:13pm - work - by Laurendorcus - Sent from mobile version



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