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Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18993) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (2524)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (32756)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (111014)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18982) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (3402)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (45958)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (7630)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18975) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (30788)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)



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