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Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (25382)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15278) - you deserved it (31298)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15278) - you deserved it (28741)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15272) - you deserved it (23068)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15256) - you deserved it (36899)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15253) - you deserved it (60574)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15252) - you deserved it (3777)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (89373)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

#1975711
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (48767)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm and I saw and smelled smoke coming under my door. My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open, threw out as many of my belongings as I could, and jumped. Turns out, the smell and noise were from my roomates cheap vacuum cleaner, not a fire. FML

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (39047)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15242) - you deserved it (74426)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

#19626736
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15232) - you deserved it (26292)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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