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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16271) - you deserved it (48364)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16269) - you deserved it (37286)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16268) - you deserved it (15336)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16259) - you deserved it (1724)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (34092)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

#2741
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (2545)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:32pm - love - by kai - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (57417)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (27262)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

#12943582
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (21469)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16246) - you deserved it (38187)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (33861)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

#13837654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (22601)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (34528)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland



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