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Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (1623)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (25899)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (3442)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

#1615
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (2424)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by steveinnewsoh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

#4954327
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (9384)

On 08/31/2009 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by sadinthesack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (39188)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

#19987947
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (2087)

On 07/27/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by WTF is all I ask (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (26081)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (2809)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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