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Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16692) - you deserved it (25688)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (30050)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (27396)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

#2300896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (42356)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:10am - love - by Socklessandsmelly (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

#949
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (6625)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm - work - by Carrie - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

#21251320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (31076)

On 09/03/2014 at 6:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

#5465719
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (42532)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by MessedXUp (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16653) - you deserved it (4265)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16653) - you deserved it (29794)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16653) - you deserved it (23686)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)



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