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Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

#4866921
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (33861)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (38899)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

#2115737
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (40538)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

#16046636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (24201)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (70487)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML

#19376028
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15104) - you deserved it (12058)

On 03/30/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by dannyboy (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (29350)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (26822)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (26993)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML

#2759845
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (53108)

On 06/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by Sims3luver (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

#18697207
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15086) - you deserved it (26279)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (34901)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15078) - you deserved it (23927)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)



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