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Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (9969)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (1721)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (3977)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (2669)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (101076)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (1790)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

#19279309
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (8558)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (26933)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico



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