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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (1257)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (75004)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17336) - you deserved it (5622)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (4202)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

#1739978
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (36442)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (34421)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (7222)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

#154846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (46458)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (38629)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (56799)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (56172)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (8430)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)



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