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Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25365) - you deserved it (4409)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (5192)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

#18604645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (6922)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (6723)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (1690)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got fired from my nannying job because one of the mom's several boyfriends mentioned that he found me attractive. FML

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (2740)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

#18095179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (4223)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (4686)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (83287)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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