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Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13905) - you deserved it (2903)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

#5932457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13900) - you deserved it (6058)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13900) - you deserved it (49846)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (7334)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

#19395712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13890) - you deserved it (2099)

On 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (49090)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

#13570678
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (33070)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (44964)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

#19804025
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13865) - you deserved it (1051)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:57pm - misc - by annonymous - United States

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I go. I then return with another pair for him to try on, and find him bent over and blurt out "What the hell's that terrible underwear?". The man turns around, revealing that I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

#2607
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13860) - you deserved it (7598)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:09am - love - by Harmonia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (30386)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you deserved it (50449)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (7826)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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