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Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19663) - you deserved it (1549)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (81855)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (2474)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (3613)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (7929)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML

#18912127
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (9188)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML

#464994
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (42950)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (3708)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (98884)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (2653)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (11143)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (3729)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)



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