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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (67872)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

#19743294
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (1860)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

#6710646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (6109)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (2548)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (4899)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

#14129124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (16187)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:47am - intimacy - by khaelian -

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (2390)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (2376)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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