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Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (7755)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

#17804369
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (2718)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (2330)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (35412)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (14408)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (5277)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

#20000050
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (1862)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by Lara (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (83287)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (34666)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (5951)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (5932)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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