Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (5442)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

#21447496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (1952)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (3695)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

#7163475
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (6224)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm - misc - by SplashOuch (woman) - United States

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (3799)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (2249)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

#6308799
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2189)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:12am - work - by hanmart (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (3359)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (5458)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (2224)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: