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Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (63449)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (3724)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (5760)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (1567)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (5872)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (2269)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (3929)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (12966)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you deserved it (3492)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico



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