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Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (4104)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (2044)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18686) - you deserved it (38872)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18676) - you deserved it (3385)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18675) - you deserved it (3232)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (58199)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

#20040720
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18668) - you deserved it (5913)

On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18665) - you deserved it (3988)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (3507)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18662) - you deserved it (4745)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18662) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

#15899408
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (36478)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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