Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (3962)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (38295)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (25012)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (1520)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (35659)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (35537)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML

#19550881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (3417)

On 04/29/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (2657)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (32889)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (1570)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: