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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (5210)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (5236)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (6516)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (4856)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (2050)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (6829)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (3381)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (1587)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19268) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (65831)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (5104)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (7402)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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