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Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

#17868574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/30/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Cristie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (65529)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (7950)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3292)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24759) - you deserved it (2419)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (2602)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

#21381631
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (2500)

On 03/25/2015 at 11:43pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (8075)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (37540)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

#17921774
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (1812)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm - work - by hazlanz216 - Canada (British Columbia)



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