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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (12384)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

#7512878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (6670)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:04am - love - by voltronn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

#18110150
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (8726)

On 10/30/2011 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (11414)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

#14669147
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (4429)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:36am - misc - by GuillermoCJ - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (13753)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (2979)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (8353)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (1985)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (28146)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (7200)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26350) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (4132)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)



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