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Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (44633)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

#1741701
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18099) - you deserved it (42349)

On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (55541)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

#19699076
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (1535)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:52pm - work - by vikts (man) - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (3171)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (36426)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (33532)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (35195)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (1936)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (9249)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18076) - you deserved it (3290)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (1883)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)



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