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Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (2138)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (5880)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (89698)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (1720)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (9264)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (2394)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (219474)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2214)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (46281)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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