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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (45846)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20130) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (11553)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (3561)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (34068)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (1714)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (51233)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (38368)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

#7211285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (27221)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (51751)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (1912)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)



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