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Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (10594)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (52061)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

#14459175
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18059) - you deserved it (5426)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:30am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

#8736997
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (3714)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (26481)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (42989)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (52168)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18042) - you deserved it (43626)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (2222)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18036) - you deserved it (11753)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)



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