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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (76079)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (2246)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (7980)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (4450)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (2885)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (11106)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (17039)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (4050)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (101641)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (7640)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (234110)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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