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Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

#18557623
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (2195)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:53pm - work - by me (woman) - United States

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

#15025165
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24771) - you deserved it (5459)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:39am - health - by pandaface (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (28151)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

#21442079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (2425)

On 07/15/2015 at 2:06pm - misc - by lesousterre - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (7478)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (4698)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (1621)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (6747)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (4976)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (8177)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)



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