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Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14109) - you deserved it (5379)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14107) - you deserved it (31718)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14108) - you deserved it (2038)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14107) - you deserved it (36234)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

#2775360
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14105) - you deserved it (35825)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

#19838135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (6216)

On 06/24/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

#20076090
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (1189)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14095) - you deserved it (1379)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14091) - you deserved it (17929)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss reeks of mothballs. We share a cubicle. FML

#1339
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (1458)

On 01/16/2009 at 7:19am - work - by misc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14089) - you deserved it (972)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (84357)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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