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Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

#20022605
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (9342)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (2350)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (5122)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19355) - you deserved it (3480)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

#18077732
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (4488)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:31am - work - by rowanjusmc - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (64472)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19352) - you deserved it (4656)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (6828)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (2231)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States



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