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Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (6556)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (4262)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (1693)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (43496)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (1817)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (10312)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (2230)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (5206)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

#17776041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (5067)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by Lisa - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (3299)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)



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