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Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (24225)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

#19388204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (1758)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by totalloss - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19228) - you deserved it (3310)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (6085)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (27400)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (8523)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (39137)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (2342)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (3461)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19218) - you deserved it (2140)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. It's also the first year I've had her gift purchased, wrapped and mailed on time. The post office lost the parcel. FML



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