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Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (1631)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

#20033299
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/21/2012 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (1945)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (9331)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (43318)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (3709)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (144309)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

#19731435
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (6122)

On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (2047)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (8880)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

#8471213
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:47am - intimacy - by jo - United States

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (9467)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)



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