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Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (5879)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (89695)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (3023)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (16933)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (9264)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (2723)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (27224)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3179)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2394)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (46282)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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