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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1341)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (17897)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (8761)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (48337)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (2405)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (16744)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (4565)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (2155)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (2536)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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