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Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (5643)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I listened to my roommate and her friend struggle with their math homework for an hour. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I'm a math major and repeatedly offered my help. They'd rather fail math than be around me. FML

#20048130
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (2680)

On 08/29/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by foreveralone.jpg (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2219)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (6381)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (3325)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

#21453104
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (3116)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (2903)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (15064)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

#21435796
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (2243)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by jasondrags (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (7843)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version



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