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Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (5507)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (5386)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (3239)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that even though I now have a key to get into the office, I don't know the code to shut off the alarm system. I showed up early. FML

#16817189
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (3558)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:13pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

#14894190
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (5269)

On 02/08/2011 at 9:46am - health - by mmromig - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2790)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (4070)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (8920)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2873)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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