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Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

by sam / 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

by GuillermoCJ / 01/22/2011 at 12:36am / Mexico (Baja California) / Health

Today, it's my birthday and my kids made me a card. Unfortunately, my kids used the wall for paper. Now I have red and blue crayon all over my bedroom wall. FML

by nicchick411 / 03/27/2011 at 11:17am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

by c / 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm / Love

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

by biblio / 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML

by Fgjvshnb / 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML

by Eloy Ymer / 08/22/2010 at 7:51pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Health

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

by the girlfriend / 08/26/2011 at 6:41am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

by / 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm / Health

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

by forgotten / 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health