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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (7504)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML

#18522067
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (12696)

On 12/15/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by Ms. Heartless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (4487)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

#17747814
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (4685)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by Awesome. (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

#4746647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (7268)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (3568)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

#7297825
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (5235)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:27am - kids - by Dr_Dolittle (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

#17379762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (3685)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (4236)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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