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Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (43950)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (3689)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (83913)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3412)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

#18181534
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (4781)

On 11/07/2011 at 1:49am - work - by Courtney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (1956)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (51258)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22740) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (2019)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (2016)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

#14504771
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (41037)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (15278)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria



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