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Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19154) - you deserved it (1673)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

#15386188
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (31637)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (3612)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

#18260815
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19146) - you deserved it (9226)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by anxiety (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (6154)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (5019)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

#20040876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (9398)

On 08/25/2012 at 11:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (2109)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

#15535054
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (27245)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

#3783487
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (49643)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by daisyann (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (5396)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (4014)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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