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Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (54460)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (9995)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (1447)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (8238)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (1658)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (6455)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18819) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (2970)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (4226)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18813) - you deserved it (2510)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)



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