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Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (18560)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (2185)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (47498)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

#6643821
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23130) - you deserved it (6179)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (5049)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

#19359815
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (4133)

On 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm - health - by Anna - United States

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (1986)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (1521)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

#14606368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (1874)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm - misc - by sam -

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (3624)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (6076)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (3152)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)



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