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Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (5402)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (2354)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3431)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (18686)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (3243)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (12973)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (6252)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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