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Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18596) - you deserved it (3479)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

#19015871
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18596) - you deserved it (1712)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by whyme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (2593)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18590) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (46856)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

#17687802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (4857)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:08am - work - by HT BaaFly (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18581) - you deserved it (5265)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (3829)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (8730)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (8147)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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