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Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (13086)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (3935)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

#20878799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (47566)

On 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by Robert - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

#417128
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (83843)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by sandy (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (3884)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (3930)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

#8361360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (8075)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:03am - love - by kippis05 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (41043)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML



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