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Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

by jenpearl / 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

by nevergoingtopeeagain / 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

by fml / 08/12/2011 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

by jaleesadavis21 / 10/18/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML

by acidonymous / 07/09/2015 at 12:32am / United States (Michigan) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

by cuckoo / 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

by isthisajoke / 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

by trainhump / 02/20/2010 at 5:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

by snidpea / 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm / Health

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

by OopsMonkey / 09/13/2011 at 9:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 7:49am / United States / Work