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Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18621) - you deserved it (2120)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18618) - you deserved it (6054)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18619) - you deserved it (12941)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18617) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18617) - you deserved it (16231)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (14334)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Half-way through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

#19643133
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (8517)

On 05/18/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18612) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18610) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

#19577517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (3389)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18607) - you deserved it (17278)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (4609)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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