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Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

#18755712
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (4087)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:56am - health - by naagodinho (man) - Portugal

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (9249)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (48020)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

#4360788
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (51192)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18075) - you deserved it (38122)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18075) - you deserved it (11357)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18072) - you deserved it (10595)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18068) - you deserved it (43687)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (52062)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

#14459175
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18060) - you deserved it (5427)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:30am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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