Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (2050)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (6829)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (1587)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (65833)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (10987)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (5104)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (7403)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

#18711671
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (4030)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

#20049664
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (2191)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: