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Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13927) - you deserved it (29427)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

#20033299
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13925) - you deserved it (1281)

On 08/21/2012 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13924) - you deserved it (1490)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

#3341149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (48339)

On 06/29/2009 at 5:52pm - misc - by Cheech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

#45910
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (76655)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

#16717900
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13915) - you deserved it (32753)

On 06/17/2011 at 8:31pm - love - by Emily J. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

#2076709
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (82230)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13907) - you deserved it (1810)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I bought a brand new 72" flatscreen TV. After getting it hooked up and working, we went out for a smoke. Hearing this crashing and smashing noise, I went inside to find out my 2 year old daughter had found a metal pole and decided to use it on the TV. FML

#13012319
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13905) - you deserved it (33212)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (5519)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

#2115737
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (38807)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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