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Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (46281)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3179)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (27223)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (1847)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

#7297825
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (4969)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:27am - kids - by Dr_Dolittle (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (6227)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (9875)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2848)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2241)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

#19964945
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (4467)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2854)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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