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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (1759)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (66412)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (1958)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (76075)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

#5825370
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (2270)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by goodsister (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (2246)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (4450)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (11105)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States



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