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Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

#19563057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (6889)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (6993)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (2892)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (42462)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (2577)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (49985)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (65267)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (43108)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (8706)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (9675)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (6176)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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