Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

#20046195
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (1775)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (3605)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed: standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my brand new car. FML

#8866144
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:22am - misc - by Coldflame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (4956)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

#13625422
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (7789)

On 10/28/2010 at 10:19am - work - by kaz89 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

#19039912
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (4566)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (7990)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

#8621436
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (4032)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm - work - by richgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: