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Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (1621)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (4699)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (6747)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (4976)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (8177)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

#8094322
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/10/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

#18379214
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by DoggyBlues - United States (California)

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

#17868574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/30/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Cristie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (65528)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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