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Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (8509)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

#17941193
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (12116)

On 10/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by glitterzebra - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML

#14014833
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (1797)

On 11/28/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by moshgra -

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (4352)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (1674)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

#19883197
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2032)

On 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by deweyd8855 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (50068)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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