Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23244) - you deserved it (3128)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (14721)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (3282)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (1816)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

#17112107
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (12759)

On 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm - misc - by bym5052 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (4726)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (4283)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (9971)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (7090)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (1973)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: