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Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (1491)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (1589)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (1672)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (3912)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (3549)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (3468)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (51429)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (10546)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (7596)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (2442)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States



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