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Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (50545)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (4065)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (3171)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (53720)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (7028)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (3070)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (1511)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (1984)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (7039)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (9361)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (43377)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)



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