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Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (16635)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (19879)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (43225)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (2557)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (11511)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (3300)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (2537)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (42868)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

#17836601
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (2264)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (2742)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (2028)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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