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Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (2057)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

#19743294
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (1860)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19795) - you deserved it (67864)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (2547)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

#19601111
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1528)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

#6710646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1218)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (6108)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (4895)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3900)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version



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