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Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22833) - you deserved it (52202)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (5875)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

#14945548
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (16078)

On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (7611)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22829) - you deserved it (1438)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22829) - you deserved it (5266)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (4707)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

#6424170
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (1988)

On 11/23/2009 at 7:07pm - love - by ssjin93 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

#1414687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (41820)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:50am - love - by Mikey (man) - United States (California)

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (5416)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (4679)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)



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