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Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3812)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3976)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (5119)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (1795)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (48641)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (6542)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (7676)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (5724)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (3145)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (35901)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (5200)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (6561)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)



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