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Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (37877)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (1296)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (3283)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (34935)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

#8733568
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14229) - you deserved it (13202)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (5565)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14217) - you deserved it (28315)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (6212)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (1676)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14202) - you deserved it (2136)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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