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Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (93395)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (8977)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (4226)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (6380)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

#19742103
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (3582)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (4359)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (12403)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (2127)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (2371)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (2086)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

#14294179
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (5810)

On 12/22/2010 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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