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Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18883) - you deserved it (1927)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

#10939026
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (37221)

On 06/03/2010 at 4:54am - intimacy - by elevenharries (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (1534)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (3253)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

#6301
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (39262)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

#15098921
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (19945)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Eric Forrest - United States (Utah)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (1810)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (9230)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (1533)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -



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