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Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

#14199990
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (5612)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:52am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (6792)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

#21424106
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (1399)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm - work - by cocoapuffs4life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (9074)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (1668)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (2125)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (5527)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (2065)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (6293)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2089)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (9510)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (3235)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (3471)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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