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Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (2015)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (4330)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (31172)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18948) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (1897)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (4700)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18928) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (11470)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

#18895505
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

#5141524
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (51279)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (30702)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)



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