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Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (73549)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (24792)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (8401)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

#2282395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (44966)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

#18711671
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (1748)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (11225)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (1996)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (2274)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (36105)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (1949)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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