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Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (2961)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (1760)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (1819)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (2346)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (2274)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (2827)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (69181)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (5148)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (1534)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (1292)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)



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