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Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (43425)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

#19766054
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19015) - you deserved it (2744)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

#19611512
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (1748)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm - animals - by Eric Ngan - Singapore

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (25239)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

#5889966
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Joe (man) - Cambodia (Phnum Penh)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (38280)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (46925)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19010) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (1450)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

#417128
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (83817)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by sandy (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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