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Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML

#4677149
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19516) - you deserved it (40595)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (7219)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (2568)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

#11559834
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (12229)

On 06/30/2010 at 5:39am - misc - by charlotte273 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (1819)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (5080)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (35701)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (29085)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (7510)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

#6546793
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (14862)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:05am - health - by ihatecats - United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (4259)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States



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