Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (1755)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (15188)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (21835)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (2581)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2553)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (1396)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (42043)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (2510)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: