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Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (2528)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (4438)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (2783)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (9034)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

#7106186
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (6919)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:27pm - money - by troubled - Sent from mobile version

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (7543)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24095) - you deserved it (3527)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

#6332669
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24095) - you deserved it (2027)

On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (4670)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

#20046195
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (4364)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (7449)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States



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