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Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (25803)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (2317)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (4557)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18297) - you deserved it (58518)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (2321)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

#17687802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (4815)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:08am - work - by HT BaaFly (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (7797)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (87363)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (6861)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18288) - you deserved it (1712)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States



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