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Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (31779)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (2091)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (93408)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18244) - you deserved it (4226)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (8977)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (6380)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18236) - you deserved it (12407)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

#19742103
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18236) - you deserved it (3584)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (4359)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (2127)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (2371)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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