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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20759) - you deserved it (3124)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (1802)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (6671)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (4413)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

#19188857
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (14952)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm - love - by CptZoe - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

#20045057
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (2191) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (2211)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (5209)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (11702)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (43561)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was fired. Why? Because I called in sick on my daughter's birthday, even though you cannot "abandon work for personal affairs". My boss's favorite employee got to skip work on his wife's birthday two weeks ago. He still works here. FML

#8219030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (6114)

On 02/13/2010 at 7:29pm - work - by firedofbirthday - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States



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