Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (2169)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

#19714803
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (4188)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:24am - love - by Silent (man) - Singapore

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (3734)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

#8246413
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (4236)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Fv-day (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

#17694865
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (2646)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (7244)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (5679)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21390) - you deserved it (2120)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

#19478147
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (2309)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (2016)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (1883)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (4703)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML

#8480330
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (8793)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Ennui (woman) - United States (Texas)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: