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Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

#13802701
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (3734)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (42071)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (1448)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

#17436127
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (13563)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (5449)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22081) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (1627)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (4543)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (11834)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (5707)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (6585)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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