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Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (4051)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (42619)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (8721)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20355) - you deserved it (2351)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (2842)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (34388)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (2094)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML



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