Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (33756)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

#19951695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (1913)

On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (9429)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (15829)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (4081)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (36707)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

#526
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1644)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:55am - misc - by Melie-Melo - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (40975)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

#8800523
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20455) - you deserved it (3623)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by pothole - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (5005)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (7101)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: