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Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

by Insensitive / 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

by Drunk / 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

by not_relaxed / 10/25/2010 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML

by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY / 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm / United States / Money

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

by WCARlover / 06/19/2015 at 11:43pm / United States (Maine) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

by nato / 11/27/2012 at 8:16am / United States / Work

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

by Poopie / 01/29/2011 at 1:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

by russty / 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

by Busted / 12/31/2009 at 3:52pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Holidays

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

by gassy / 07/15/2015 at 7:15am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

by innocent cat lady / 07/07/2015 at 2:19pm / United States / Love