Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (4741)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (27025)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

#829368
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (55820)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (4680)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (23799)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14271) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14269) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14269) - you deserved it (22584)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trapped for 40 minutes in LA traffic after a car overturned and all 5 lanes of the 101 S freeway were closed. When the traffic finally began to move my car wouldn't start since I'd left the headlights on too long and was listening to the radio! And I was in the middle lane of the freeway. FML

#951
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (7608)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:58pm - work - by bubba gump - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14264) - you deserved it (86754)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: