Love, Work and Cute: Nuclear family

Nuclear family

By Mudturtle - 19/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 132

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Same thing different taste

By GlowInTheDark - 09/12/2011 07:41 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 668

You deserved it 3 963

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 537

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 10:00

Today, I was offered a job that pays almost double what I'm currently making. I just found out that it requires me to relocate to Florida. I'm forced to turn it down to protect my young trans daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 1 081

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 920

You deserved it 3 883

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 20:01

Today, I drove 4 hours to see a girl I’ve been messaging with for months. Her friends came along for everything. I opted to sleep in my car, and go fishing alone. I didn’t know the river was near a nuclear power plant, so I’m probably sterile now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 391

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 02:00

Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 687

By work -_- - 22/04/2013 13:22 - United Kingdom - Mitcham

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 254

You deserved it 3 771

How d'you think?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 02:00

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 176

By radiationkillz - 21/03/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 266

You deserved it 7 287

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was offered a position as a trainer at a great company. My manager was livid when I told her. This is after she told me I was wasting my time trying to become a trainer and if I wanted to become one, I should apply elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 848

You deserved it 212

Middle Age Divorced Dad 16

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:41

Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:03

guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.

Comments

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:02

congrats on the new job

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:03

guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.

ahabsfan 14

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:31

Do they have spiders?

Middle Age Divorced Dad 16

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:41

Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.

Rake 13

Wednesday 20 December 2023 7:03

Working in a power plant does have its risks. Being exposed to radiation is one of them. For example, that is why procedures are much stricter to married women.

Radulf 8

Wednesday 20 December 2023 17:31

Working in an environment where we are handling radioactive substances, I can assure you that men and women, married or not, are treated the same. Only exception is pregnant women. Once a women declares being pregnant, they are assigned a job where they are not getting near radioactive substances. Don't forget, women don't have to be married to become pregnant.

Rake 13

Wednesday 20 December 2023 7:04

Sounds like the flashback episode from the simpsons

TomeDr 24

Wednesday 20 December 2023 12:13

Why don’t you start with educating her so you can put her fears to rest?

Crowned Sataness 12

Wednesday 20 December 2023 22:37

actually I have a friend who's dad worked many years at a plant and damaged his sperm, said friend is albino and legally blind. BUT safety has come a long way in the last 45 years he's been alive