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Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (3320)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

#1303608
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (57022)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (1562)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (10832)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (36894)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (3186)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

#7011501
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2718)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by patrickRafael (man) - Singapore



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