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Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

#17781243
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14415) - you deserved it (37955)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14412) - you deserved it (31267)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14409) - you deserved it (22671)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

#18895505
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14410) - you deserved it (2168)

On 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14407) - you deserved it (52351)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (71858)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided that I was going to get my front license plate put back on my car after two years of having it off. In these two years I somehow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive without one in MD. On my way there, I got pulled over for not having a front license plate. FML

#2772100
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (44705)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by dm206 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (27549)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (2426)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (6820)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (33723)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (54655)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)



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