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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (3020)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (3277) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4959)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4222)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (6808)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (2365)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1908)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (9054)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (15002)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML

#19111360
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (10276)

On 02/18/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by snowinggrey - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States



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