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Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (2403)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (2802)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (36560)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (2628)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19563) - you deserved it (38614)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19561) - you deserved it (3338)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (3948)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (58391)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

#19237523
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (5959)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML

#19585555
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (2545)

On 05/07/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (12143)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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