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Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

#5638225
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (7120)

On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (8178)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (9506)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (2488)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (11928)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
149 comments

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (4293)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (6189)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (4927)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States



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