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Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (1941)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1788)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (9429)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20469) - you deserved it (33753)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

#19951695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (1913)

On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (15828)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (4081)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (36697)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (40969)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

#8800523
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (3623)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by pothole - United States (Maryland)

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

#526
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:55am - misc - by Melie-Melo - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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