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Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (1579)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (8100)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

#19885818
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (3357)

On 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm - work - by hypocrite (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

#6310101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (11000)

On 11/15/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by shiiiiit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (5233)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (1794)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (40789)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (2545)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)



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