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Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (2700)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (4243)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML

#4595424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (43344)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (43947)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (6519)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (8721)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (2115)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (2297)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (1703)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (41816)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)



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