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Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (2986)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML

#14202689
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (9895)

On 12/14/2010 at 2:10pm - work - by melly (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (8190)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (3961)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

#13105771
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (4020)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by Gabby125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

#18094107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (2427)

On 10/28/2011 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (3720)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (2904)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

#19869776
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (2261)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:26am - love - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

#331
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (8361)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:54am - love - by zevil - Peru (Lima)

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (13964)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (17132)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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