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Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (39302)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (3277) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (2045)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (4342)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (3021)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (15673)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (6809)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (4222)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4959)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (1908)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (9055)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)



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