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Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (2426)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (6820)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (33723)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (54660)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14397) - you deserved it (22839)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14391) - you deserved it (8121)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (42551)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

#3787096
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (33438)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:08pm - work - by beingthebossisoverrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (18081)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

#19626736
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14384) - you deserved it (24991)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

#17489805
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (36710)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm - health - by gkid92 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States



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