Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

#13645028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (9087)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:52am - misc - by snoozlagist (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (8833)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

#5932326
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

#10713367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (2984)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (4761)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

#18284255
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (2920)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (2786)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23316) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (2533)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: