Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (7039)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (2688)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (22304)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (2864)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (9358)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22928) - you deserved it (2323)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (7561)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (35770)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (2165)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (5737)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (1957)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (4002)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: