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Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14505) - you deserved it (29780)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (70613)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

#18286852
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (23230)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

#17687802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (3563)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:08am - work - by HT BaaFly (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (38536)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14489) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (4371)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (38242) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (1485)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (2749)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (162832)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)



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