Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (5248)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
453 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (221014)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (58249)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (32806)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (6651)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (6227)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (128138)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (7651)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (1774)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2150)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

#6708015
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (6259)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: