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Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (6956)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (8120)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (3964)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (8186)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML

#1530286
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (46713)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:15pm - health - by CollegeGirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

#12984210
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (4865)

On 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm - misc - by higagram (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (1802)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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