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Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (3268)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (1645)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

#6490055
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (9209)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (4931)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (131232)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (9785)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

#13056809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (8075)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:24am - work - by clumsyandhungry (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

#5638225
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (7120)

On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (5497)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (9501)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States



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