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Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (2580)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (14257)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

#17632771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (4128)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by Beepbeepbeep (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (3028)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (2882)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

#21469110
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (3395)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2887)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (3926)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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