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Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (23571)
On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5592) - you deserved it (26632)
On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (44916)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (22185)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5582) - you deserved it (17400) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5580) - you deserved it (25922)
On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
I agree, your life sucks (5579) - you deserved it (42222)
On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5578) - you deserved it (28233)
On 09/01/2010 at 5:01pm - misc - by samboob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5576) - you deserved it (44657)
On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5573) - you deserved it (45151)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5572) - you deserved it (44057)
On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)
Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5572) - you deserved it (25789)
On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5572) - you deserved it (10740)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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