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Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (1794)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (2544)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

#8930944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm - money - by yessssir - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

#467270
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (64388)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

#19433649
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (2308)

On 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm - love - by Stinky. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20475) - you deserved it (42390)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (1840)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, add her new boyfriend to her friends and changed her status to "I'm so happy". FML

#846
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (5583)

On 01/04/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1941)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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