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Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (6584)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (25747)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (1259)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML

#18912868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
590 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (244982)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (2417)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (1917)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

#19876638
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (4194)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (2851)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML



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