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Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19119) - you deserved it (5396)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

#20040876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (9394)

On 08/25/2012 at 11:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (5040)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (4498)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (7321)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19107) - you deserved it (4014)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

#1083
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19104) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:57am - love - by bbns - Germany (Hessen)

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

#464
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (4372)

On 12/07/2008 at 3:46am - love - by Titanic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (29490)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (2076)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (86914)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

#20399681
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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