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Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23037) - you deserved it (1792)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (29291)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (1714)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (45819)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (11861)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2859)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (3148)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

#19514212
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (1846)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

#20094580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (1678)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (9707)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (2025)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (3992)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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