Too much of a good thing - FML

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 1 615

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 05:24 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 3 305

Foreplay

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 153

Infantilizing

By this is why! - 30/10/2021 18:00 - United States

Today, my wife is angry with me for lying to her and “treating her like a child”. Knowing how long it takes her to get ready, I told her an event we were attending started an hour and a half before it really did. Even with the extra time, we barely made it. She still thinks I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 115

By ILoveFML - 29/08/2010 14:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready." He then looked at me and said, "Maybe you should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 7 732

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 175

Whatthefuckaburger

By r u kidding me? - 09/06/2020 20:00

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 854

You deserved it 310

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 426

You deserved it 205

By MandMandM - 19/07/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 535

You deserved it 6 161

Gripes and strife

By Jordan - 20/03/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend was griping to me about being late for work. When I pointed out that she wouldn’t be late if she didn’t rely on someone else for a ride, she bitched me out about being “unsympathetic.” Did I mention she refused to learn to drive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 191

By Anonomous - 08/12/2014 17:58 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 895

You deserved it 3 891

Next

Top comments

lovelyhippos 15

Thursday 21 May 2020 23:59

I think you're confused about what a quickie is. Most sex doesn't even last 45 min.

theyellowgoose 3

Friday 22 May 2020 1:07

it's called a quickie for a reason...

Comments

lovelyhippos 15

Thursday 21 May 2020 23:59

I think you're confused about what a quickie is. Most sex doesn't even last 45 min.

Isaac Shields 9

Saturday 23 May 2020 20:11

not true I get the same complaint from my wife

AmbrosiaFan 18

Friday 22 May 2020 1:06

quickie means it doesn't take long... so yeah I agree with her.

theyellowgoose 3

Friday 22 May 2020 1:07

it's called a quickie for a reason...

guitarherogeek 22

Friday 22 May 2020 1:23

It’s a quickie!? YDI

Xatraris 38

Friday 22 May 2020 3:11

Lol, I always got the same complaint. So make it like 5, might not get off but enjoy only a few minutes of fun. Then when you get a lot more time alone take as long as you both need.

7and7is 20

Friday 22 May 2020 7:27

My make believe girlfriend makes the same complaint. Only she thinks 9 hours is too quick!!! Also my 24” penis is too much.

jriley4u 17

Friday 22 May 2020 7:51

I don’t blame her. Quickies are supposed to be quick.

Baby_123 8

Friday 22 May 2020 17:36

I got the same compliaint about 15 minutes it’s my advice just get her off and find some other way to get release

jfigley 5

Saturday 23 May 2020 17:27

Wait your girl was complaining that it was too long lol?? Normally chick's complaint that the guy can't go more than 5 or 10 mins. Sorry u like to take time myself. Why wrap it up so quick, I like to have a little fun...

Nathan Chew Barker 5

Thursday 28 May 2020 0:33

Because it’s a quickie, not a longy

Isaac Shields 9

Saturday 23 May 2020 20:12

I get the same complaint from my wife especially when she's giving me a bj so she thinks she's doing it wrong even though she's not so I feel your pain

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The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 067

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 566

You deserved it 9 193

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 64 987

Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by wasting so much paper. One of the girls in my class said, “No way! They use pandas to make paper?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 105

Today, I was trying to be sexy and sent my new boyfriend a nude. Before we started dating, I had hooked up with three of his friends which he was super insecure about. Somehow I accidentally sent it to a group chat which included five different people besides us. All of those friends were in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 4 140

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 032

You deserved it 24 179

Today, it was supposed to be my last day of work before flying off on my first foreign holiday in 4 years. Some bastard on an electric scooter ran into me at the bus stop and broke my leg so badly the doctors say I need pins and a metal cage. Waiting for surgery now. So long holiday, maybe next year, eh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 83