Health and Painful: Rip Torn - FML

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 103

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 58 264

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 464

You deserved it 1 283

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 608

You deserved it 32 974

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 117

By thefoolwhorippedhispants - 20/04/2018 01:30

Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 323

You deserved it 428

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 12 030

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 007

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 7 348

By anonymous - 13/02/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 190

You deserved it 2 980

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 May 2022 5:08

Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:49

Lotion is your friend.

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Tuesday 10 May 2022 2:55

I just learned something new thank you and WTF were you doing that resulted in you tearing your cleftal horizon

mccuish 25

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:29

I have so many questions right now

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 10 May 2022 3:49

Lotion is your friend.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 10 May 2022 5:08

Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.

Beackers675 13

Wednesday 11 May 2022 19:25

Hey guys, OP here. Just wanted to follow-up, turns out, if you sit down just right, the tag in your underwear can cut your ass-crack like a paper cut. 10/10 don't recommend.

Keywords

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The Top

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Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 579

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I agree, your life sucks 35 555

You deserved it 4 446

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I agree, your life sucks 41 693

You deserved it 3 071

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You deserved it 573