camp
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
laughingflame
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Anonymous
Buzau, Romania 🌶️ Spicy
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ygma
Mansfield, United States
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
caught
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
sonofahypocriticalwhore
United States
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Anonymous
Scarborough, Canada
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
but cum to think of it...
🌶️ Spicy
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
Sciamachy 0
When you return you can bounce up to your grandmother & tell her that the sin of Onan was that he refused to impregnate his brother's widow (directly refusing an order from God), not that he masturbated.
soccer060 0
tell her your an atheist or something
usmc2016 0
another reason for bible camp?
killdozer1 2
I wonder how many starving children could be fed with the money that was spent building large, unreasonably elaborate churches to spread thinly veiled messages of communism (yes, if god exists, then the entire universe is inherently communistic).
Toolishing 22
It's too bad that the majority of churches also feed more starving children than the government, which everybody funds.
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
kindofgocrazy 0
Or of locking doors.
TASagent 0
Yeah, or you can just refuse to go. Don't let religious nonsense convince you that things that are natural and healthy, or at the very least not problematic, are bad. If more people stood up to this ridiculous feeling of moral entitlement the religious have, we would all be much better off.
vincee32 0
maybe people are allowed to believe what they want. and if it's her child she can make him go to bible camp!
ihatemylife1007 0
it said grandmother you idiot
MiGman 5
it's not all nonsense some of tis religious stuff makes sense
f_alarmclock 8
not much. only the stuff that is based in common sense and not religious dogma makes sense
killdozer1 2
People can definitely believe what they want, and thats not at all what the commentor was trying to speak against. What he and I are both saying is that the religious fanatics like op's grandmother have no right to tell others what to think and do when they aren't hurting anybody.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
swimchick7 1
Girls don't **********
whatpumpkin413 9
140- some girls ********** it's just fewer than the number of guys who **********
NostalgiaFreak9 43
There are two kinds of people in this world, people who ********** and liars.
tweets 0
shes trying to keep u from going blind
GameRater01 0
I wish you luck on your trip. Try to make the best of it, I guess =/ Hopefully there you can find a locked room to whack off in
Fake_Name 0
I hope you will break the chains of oppression that religion has put on you. It's all a lie; there is no god, there is no Jesus, so stop believing in your stupid fairy tales.
lezzyluver 0
oh really I think most shall disagree. History shows Jesus was real and america was formed by christians so if you don't like it you can leave America and go join china
FreshSalad 1
China has the most christians dumbass
LegitDGK 0
7, I hope u will learn 2 talk/type like a normal person
hahafylop 4
104 - WIN!!!!
shotgunhr 0
you stfu an let people belies what they wanna believe asshole
pennypendolyn 0
although I do believe that you are right number 7. You should not be trying to press your own views on other people.....
BeastNerd 3
Hypocrite. Your imposing your beliefs while complaining about how others do the EXACT SAME thing!
NecroParade 3
7, you know how annoying it is when religious people preach to you? Well, I'm sure it's just as annoying when you preach to them. 106, just because you have a limited vocabulary doesn't mean that the rest of us want to dumb everything down for you.
noncom 12
-104 actually if anybody had the most Christians, it would probably be Ireland.
AH1Zviper 15
Look, I'm atheist, and I agree with you, but stop trying to push people to believe that there is no god, it's just as bad as people pushing you to believe there is a god. And 102, did your mommy and daddy tell you that?
Kazze 31
I bet you're fun at parties.
Sciamachy 0
#6: Plenty of juicy stories in there to whack off to as well!
Good_old_Grim 8
I wonder how many people end up in bible camps in similar ways... its probably actually a huge party over there.
krae001 3
I go to church camp every year and I'd about other camps but at mine most of the people actually wanna be there. it's fun
git_er_done 0
just look for other kids at camp with hairy palms, you'll know there at the camp for the same reason