Intimacy: Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating.... - FML

By camp - 03/03/2009 22:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 091

You deserved it 27 617

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Same thing different taste

By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 151

You deserved it 12 919

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Spicy

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 629

You deserved it 3 438

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 744

You deserved it 5 862

By ygma - 01/12/2015 16:39 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 437

You deserved it 2 761

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 36 275

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 8 962

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 598

You deserved it 2 293

By Anonymous - 03/10/2013 05:24 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 643

You deserved it 5 588

Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 2 240

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Spicy

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 357

You deserved it 2 280

Next

Top comments

BeautyAndBrains 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:39

Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.

neonoodle 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:42

What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.

Comments

egaonogenki 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 18:46

Look on the bright side - you can find a hot chic there, but you may have a harder time convincing her to go to bed with you since religious people can try harder to wait 'til marriage

lamarr 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 20:11

YOU ARE DARK SIDED!!!!! GARGOYLES!!!! YOU MUST BECOME A GOD WARRIOR IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY.

ghostmountain 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 20:39

You should tell her you were just taking after jesus.

Pudgygrunt 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 21:40

#34 ftw xD but #31 is a heartless assuming bitch ;D btw. at that point I'd tell her **** you!, and no, im not possessed by a demon, and no, neither is my penis

lollipop217 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 22:24

lock the door next time

sergeman 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:37

lots of ass to be gotten in bible camp

Sean123 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:05

first of all #1 is on some serious drugs and wat were u doing masturbating with ur grandma home with the door unlocked A DUH

OhNoImRuined 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:05

SINNER!

EatMeWhileImHot 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:16

Dude that SUCKS! I would like run away.

abbottizer 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 3:00

that's what you get for masturbating, pervert

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