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Man or woman?

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

#2165517
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (11462)

On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10452) - you deserved it (46618)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69321) - you deserved it (6183)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

#2144492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (14661)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48383) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51667) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (74332)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49561) - you deserved it (2301)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46697) - you deserved it (8132)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML

#2129395
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37418) - you deserved it (8158)

On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63112) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

#2114829
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (6821)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm - misc - by Benji (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

#2112917
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44283) - you deserved it (15756)

On 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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