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Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he gets grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (5541)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Aspen_Grace33's comment : You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

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Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33244) - you deserved it (7278)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

revan546's comment : Why don't you talk to your boyfriend about I don't know... Having a REAL child?..

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Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Kordellf's comment : At least in Germany they won't be within reich.

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Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33483) - you deserved it (4410)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (2701)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

#21237232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (2698)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:15am - work - by BrokeBride (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

#21237143
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (7550) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/14/2014 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (12804)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35635) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (5536)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (4469)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (8162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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