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Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Jae_Hellyun's comment : Maybe the truck rides better?

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Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Pingvinai's comment : Weaponize your voice against your enemies.

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Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8440)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

AirBusDriver's comment : Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.

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Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (7084)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (2577)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (4513)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

#21342027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (2282)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (2018)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

#21341880
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by The Ugly One - United States

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (8419)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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