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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (1312)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

mineller's comment : That's actually pretty adorable. I don't think I could resist that.

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Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (2022)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Ninjerman's comment : Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you

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Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

#21460870
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (8006)

On 08/26/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Hunter_the_Ninja's comment : It's all fun and games until somebody doesn't get the joke.

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8705) - you deserved it (35809)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (2305)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

#21460828
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/26/2015 at 3:45am - love - by Anonymous - India (West Bengal)

Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

#21460776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (1684)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:33am - health - by Whiteheads - United States (Texas)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (1765)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (6788)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (2406)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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