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Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (1525)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

gatorclay97's comment : Maybe try using a whiteboard until you get your voice back, feel better.

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Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (1673)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

mattzawesome's comment : 0 liability for valuable items? when are they liable then? For my $3 tube of toothpaste?

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Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (1466)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

VikingLynne's comment : if this is one of the most traumatic experiences you've had, count your blessings.

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Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (2003)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (3900)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16953) - you deserved it (2052) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (3459)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (1277)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (1367)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (2235)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (1732)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (1375)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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