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Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (14054)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Hiimhaileypotter's comment : How... how could you make that mistake?

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Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

#21304063
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/22/2014 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (2439)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

MrConcise's comment : Mom: Let your brother play your Gamebox!

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Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (2215)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (4045)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

cherries62212's comment : And next time he wants it.. don't give it him. tell him you're bored half way in. etc. fire with fire baby.

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Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (3580)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (3346)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (7850)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (3171)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (2584)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia



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