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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2157)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Tarlachia's comment : Get your nephew a pet bunny and tell him that you were asked by the Easter Bunny to have him raise and care for the bunny. It'll distract him and he'll learn a thing or two about being a good pet owner.

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Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

expertsmilee's comment : Probably not the breast feeling in the world.

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Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (2746)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

lex1459's comment : Really though, what else matters?

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Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (3288)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (2735)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (14570)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

#21387713
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (9395)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:44pm - love - by :/ - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (3611)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (2904)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31219) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (3252)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)



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