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Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

NotDarkKnight's comment : Many people would find this statement concerning. Might want to reconsider this friendship. And keep her far away from your boyfriend.

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Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

UhHuhHoney's comment : Lol your grandma is a thug

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Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

#21355470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/13/2015 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26418) - you deserved it (1978)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

cocoshake's comment : report him for stalking

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Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (7009)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML



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