Today, after a couple of months of enjoying an informal parking arrangement with a local bank, I found out they sold their extra lot without telling me. The new owner's towing company heard about the deal, though. FML
by CaddyWhack / 11/18/2016 at 3:57pm / Transportation
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
by Rekt / 11/10/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML
by Rosie J. / 11/09/2016 at 9:45pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, my rather large boss told me how the company needs to save money, how we are going downhill fast, even suggesting that we might go bankrupt very soon. He then went on to ask me to go get him some very expensive scotch using the company credit card to, "help him cope with the stress." FML
by knuckleheadknock / 11/09/2016 at 9:11pm / Work
bartsj88's comment : I'm confused as to how describing your boss as "rather large" had any relevance to this FML.
by tiredstudent / 11/18/2016 at 8:56am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
superapple's comment : What hair? Your pubic hair?
Today, at my first AA meeting, my best friend thought it would be funny to burst in drunk and tell everyone that I was the champion at beer pong and that there was a party at my place after my "quitter club" ended. FML
by joeker124 / 11/18/2016 at 12:55am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
allykaymorris's comment : Well he definitely will not be proud of himself when he sobers up. I sincerely hope, anyways.
by Bonngoo / 11/17/2016 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, to keep my dog from barking in my ear in the car, I put a buzz collar on him. It worked: he barked once, the collar vibrated, he shut up. Then, his 75 pounds trembling in terror, he pissed himself and all over the back seat. FML
by ThatBackfired / 11/17/2016 at 10:51am / Animals
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…