Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

EwahWeeWah's comment : I accidentally clicked "That could've happened to me" I don't think it could've though, considering I'm a man.

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Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 8:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

soodytheboi's comment : "Today, I was spinning around, doing my job, when all of a sudden the guy who sleeps on the top bunk fell onto me. FML" -The Fan Seriously though, I hope you're okay cuz that seems like it would hurt.

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Today at camp, we were choosing teams for capture the flag. It's embarrassing to be chosen last, but today I learnt it's even more embarrassing to not be chosen at all. FML

by lastinclass / 07/13/2016 at 5:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Tripartita's comment : I believe that makes you the Free Agent who takes flags from either side and is invincible to tagging. You also have to yell "FREE AGENT, FREE AGENT" as you run around waving the captured flags. If the other players find it disruptive, perhaps they can assimilate you into one of the teams. If it's not TOO much trouble.

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Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote 'You no nothing John Snow'. It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML

by Heknowsnothing / 07/13/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML

by SadDaenerys / 07/13/2016 at 4:13pm / Love

Today, the guy I was dating told me he thought I was a good person. His reasoning? I'm not ugly enough to be a bad person, but I'm not pretty enough, either. FML

by IcedTaco / 07/13/2016 at 3:40pm / Ukraine / Love

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

by MATTY2512 / 07/13/2016 at 2:13pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

by PizzaNIF / 07/13/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, 3 weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

by dumped and dusted / 07/13/2016 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 11:21am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML

by DrumrollPlease / 07/13/2016 at 3:50am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

by grosstoenail / 07/13/2016 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

2016/07/13
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Par fml