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Today, I unexpectedly ran into my boss. Last week, I'd met with him every day, putting together a last-minute presentation of my research for him to deliver at conference overseas. It turns out that his passport had expired. FML

#21250768
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (2141)

On 09/02/2014 at 8:35pm - work - by theoftrescheduled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47976) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

felixvdl's comment : Sisters...... You gotta love em.

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Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Meettitan's comment : What are you doing in your sleep that's so interesting?

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Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML

#21250584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (11298)

On 09/02/2014 at 3:48pm - misc - by A continent away (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

cassiecassie559's comment : I'm sorry, but that's your responsibility. Don't blame other for your carelessness.

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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (7686)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35652) - you deserved it (3236)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

#21250464
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (6767)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (7400)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22546) - you deserved it (39394)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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