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Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Zufallian's comment : Were you purposely trying to hit her cervix? It's very painful for her if you do that, and if you were trying to do it on purpose to see if she would then you're an asshole.

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Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

#21519527
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (1673)

On 01/25/2016 at 11:54pm - love - by UniGrad2019 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

#21519494
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (1143)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

dramaelf's comment : She knows mints are a gateway drug. Soon you'll be turning tricks for mouthwash.

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Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

#21519490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (1279)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:37pm - work - by Kan23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Tripartita's comment : It's not you, OP, it's them. I hope you and the company can remain friends at least. However, they didn't deserve you and were probably employing other people behind your back.

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Today, a girl in my class threw a temper tantrum. Why? Because she wanted my seat. We're in high school. FML

#21519471
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:02pm - misc - by 99jellybean (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss used our communal notebook to bitch out our entire department for not leaving a note notifying her that one of the machines was down. She wrote it on the same page as the note I left saying that one of the machines was down. FML

#21519470
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (1046)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:56pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

#21519267
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/25/2016 at 1:02pm - work - by Tiffer27 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

#21519254
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/25/2016 at 12:04pm - health - by my face though - United States (Washington)

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

#21519206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (1814)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after our flight got cancelled back home, I called the airline to work out a replacement flight. I sat in hold for 2 hours waiting as patiently as I could. Then, the automated voice says, "There are no available agents. Good bye." FML

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)



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