Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

#21299095
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/14/2014 at 6:12pm - misc - by loner - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (1991)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (4272)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

WCARlover's comment : Sounds like you should just invest in some permanent goggles

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Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

devildog562's comment : Hopefully things will calm down and be re-evaluated. Give eachother some space and try and have some fun.

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Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (2222)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

kingcaper817's comment : Omg that is so disgusting I just hope it doesn't touch any of the food. I guess its your own bloody hell

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Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30708) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (2297)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (6479)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (5461)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (4118)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)



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