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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Welshite's comment : I'm not going to even make a joke. OP, things might seem dark and grey now, but things will always get better. Trust me, I've been where you are at, and life gets brighter. Finding a support group that offers advice and genuinely cares is invaluable.

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Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (7330)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

hekinokuroihi's comment : Tell him to let you grab his hand to help you through the pain; and then break his fingers. Then he'll surely drive you to the hospital.

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Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (4624)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

LunaaBluee's comment : If you've begun to call her a 'crazy fucker' then maybe you should break up with her now.

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Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

#21342027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29351) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

#21341880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by The Ugly One - United States

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (8743)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my sister got her retouched wedding photos. Apparently one of the things she had the professional do was edit me out of them. FML

#21341567
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29778) - you deserved it (2227)

On 01/21/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by kana__ (woman) - Japan

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38458) - you deserved it (2199)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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