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Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (5570)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

whatsittoyabitch's comment : Buy her a book. Any book.

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Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

#21338794
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/17/2015 at 8:54am - health - by badluck_jean (man) - France

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (3107)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML

#21338508
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (1956)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by moonchic - United States (New York)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (4441)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

biasedshooter's comment : Should have told her that was a dildon't

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Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (12114)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (5578)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Wolfparable's comment : Take advantage and try out for the hobbit films?

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Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

#21338407
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (2078)

On 01/16/2015 at 4:59pm - health - by Jensa (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

#21338310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

#21338280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm - work - by 360whoroscoped (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25567) - you deserved it (8531)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (1908)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (10904)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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