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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (3054)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

CaptainSmith28's comment : Let it go, LET IT GO!!!!

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Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41466) - you deserved it (8018)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

senor_octubre's comment : Surprise!!!

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Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (3597)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (3084)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

PoisonOrchid's comment : Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.

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Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (11334)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (13622)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (6607)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36184) - you deserved it (4263)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML



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