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Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17162) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (1300)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

A07's comment : Let's wait and see how many people tell OP to divorce him for this.

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Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (2071)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

jimmer23's comment : My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

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Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (4740)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (5926)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (1797)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (1384)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

StormGirl142's comment : At least you know he cares enough not to let you die, I guess. Hope you're okay.

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Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1632)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (1360)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (1418)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (1146)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML



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