Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (1905)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (1791)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Ninjerman's comment : Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you

See all the comments →

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

#21460870
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (7550)

On 08/26/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Hunter_the_Ninja's comment : It's all fun and games until somebody doesn't get the joke.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8306) - you deserved it (34226)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

cutycat136's comment : Half of the time, that kind of stuff does happen and people do end up getting back together soon after as long as it wasn't over anything serious. If I was him, I would break up with you again for talking about him like that so fast.

See all the comments →

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (3313)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20836) - you deserved it (2175)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

#21460828
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/26/2015 at 3:45am - love - by Anonymous - India (West Bengal)

Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

#21460776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1632)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:33am - health - by Whiteheads - United States (Texas)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (1708)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (6509)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (2319)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

#21460569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (1721)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm - love - by NocturnalFox (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (3181)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: