Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know who's she's saying during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2016 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

WCARlover's comment : Don't worry OP, it wouldn't be you ruining the relationship, it would be her fiancé's own insecurity

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Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

chuka81's comment : Did someone confront you for beating your dog? Or did you just see them looking at you and assumed they were judging you? I do not think dog brutality is so common that people would see a crying dog and assume he was beaten.

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Today, I finally found someone who liked me and wanted to kiss me. It was a 5-year-old at the daycare I work at. FML

by Tigerninjagoalie / 06/20/2016 at 7:13pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML.

by Xerfox / 06/20/2016 at 4:34pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

saifnaqvi11's comment : International Sibling Zoned. That just tragic.

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Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, while doing a course abroad, I went to buy some condoms at a supermarket, because my boyfriend was joining me for the weekend. I don’t really understand the language in this country, but I clearly understood that the cashier was suggesting we try them out together. FML

by nenes_cargo / 03/23/2016 at 11:20pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

by Jokkim / 06/20/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

by J-Sauce / 06/20/2016 at 10:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

by Medfail / 06/20/2016 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Health

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan. How did that happen? FML

by Anonyme / 08/14/2011 at 7:53pm / Lebanon

Today, I was going to take my father to dinner for Father's Day. It all would have gone according to plan, but he saw my Facebook post about a 12-hour stomach virus I had yesterday, so he went out fishing with his friends instead without telling me because he didn't want to catch my "disease." FML

by crispyjello69 / 06/19/2016 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.