Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML

by pittmanw / 07/17/2016 at 10:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

MandyO's comment : Of course stealing someone else's girlfriend is wrong, but also stealing someone's underwear? That's nasty.

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Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2016 at 7:51am / Belgium / Work

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

PhoenixChick's comment : If she choked you enough to make you unconscious, then lied about it in such a serious way, report her to every authority you can. That's not sibling rivalry, that's dangerous and mentally unstable.

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Today, I found out my debit card information has been compromised and that someone in San Jose, CA has completely drained my bank account. Joke's on them though. I was already broke as fuck. FML

by PseudoHappiness / 07/17/2016 at 8:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Money

peckerbeak22's comment : That's the spirit show that hacker who drained your bank account who's boss lol

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Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

by Foolish / 07/18/2016 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML

by gamerlaura / 07/17/2016 at 6:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend while the rest of my family goes to Cuba. Her neighbor started hitting on me. As it turns out, "he" was actually born as a "she", and now I'm apparently a transphobic bitch for not being interested. Two more days to go. FML

by JFC / 07/17/2016 at 3:56pm / Miscellaneous

Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML

by Need To Bathe In Deodorant / 07/17/2016 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML

Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 1:31pm / Work

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

by ObviousBooty / 07/17/2016 at 3:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy