Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (4503)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

#21253432
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (2405)

On 09/07/2014 at 12:52am - health - by SymmetricalPizzaFace (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37232) - you deserved it (2514)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Baustigt's comment : "Not a vegan" and "not a virgin" mean two very different things. But I can see how someone might confuse them. Either way there's probably a sausage involved.

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Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

#21253301
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:34pm - misc - by Not Wanted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

#21253199
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/06/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

HelloooooNurse's comment : Not gonna say break it off, but this may make you want to think very hard about him.

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Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (3536)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (3134)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

TCRII's comment : Tell her "no problem, I already ruled you out."

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Today, I found out I'm allergic to our new cat. My mom said she'd rather get rid of me than the cat. FML

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42235) - you deserved it (3073)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (2720)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

#21252828
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (6055)

On 09/06/2014 at 2:11am - work - by fastfoodslave (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (2289)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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