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Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (31690)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Markovski's comment : Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI

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Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (1911)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

wesleyc2110's comment : At least no one will notice you being late

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Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (18646)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Gabilliam's comment : Then...why did you train a dog to pick up a $300 phone in his mouth full of sharp teeth in the first place? Surely that was an accident waiting to happen, bath or not.

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Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

#21394027
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (2582)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (1823)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (2208)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (3205)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (2400)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (3559)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)



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