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Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (3884)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

knoxxx's comment : Dang, how long has it been since you talked to your mom?

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Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44276) - you deserved it (15742)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

asnakelovinbabe's comment : How cute. I love spiders! Seriously though. Don't be too worried. The spiderlings will mostly out-compete one another for food and even eat each other in the process until there are only some left. Also, in their current size, they can't do a damned thing to you even if they were a toxic species, which is highly unlikely anyways.

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Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

ghostsoul21's comment : Why didn't you sneak out while she was in the stall though? Even if you have anxiety issues, she sure was busy haha

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Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (6382)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41189) - you deserved it (3779)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (19186)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (11582)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47248) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44872) - you deserved it (7650)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45736) - you deserved it (3754)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (4823)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)



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