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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (3876)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

DestinyNiya's comment : At least you participated. You gained experience. You'll do better, good luck!

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Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TDog3337's comment : Childhood Ruined... I'm so sorry

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Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (3104)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

AnnaDeWitt's comment : Happens to the best of us, OP. Whenever I go to school without makeup it seems everybody asks if I'm feeling ok when I'm absolutely fine.

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Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (6228)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (3022)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (3799)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (1771)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (4094)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

#21360762
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:15am - intimacy - by awkward.. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (7903)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (2318)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (3887)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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