Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (4494)
On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (2379)
On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain
↑ dramaelf's comment : Having a telepathic affair are we? You minx.
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (2447)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57469) - you deserved it (3534)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
↑ Han1156's comment : Father and son bonding.
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (3267)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (17709)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (2243)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (5559)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41177) - you deserved it (7964)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35407) - you deserved it (4132)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42316) - you deserved it (3847)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15023) - you deserved it (57332)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (15960)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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↑ emmingle's comment : your response: "you'll have to pay me for that, too."
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