by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by crazycatlady / 08/24/2016 at 5:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2016 at 7:49am / Australia / Work
Exodiafinder687's comment : Only a fool believes that aliens built the pyramids. They were obviously built by the Illuminati. Why else do you think they're in the shape of a triangle?
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
by Girl w/ the Pearl Earring / 08/22/2016 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
StormfrontX33's comment : Next time, when it comes to things like that, honesty really is the best policy. If it was truly an accident, an employer will not go to harsh on you. If they do, then maybe you shouldn't be working for them in the first place. By lying, you put yourself at a huge disadvantage now. The potential for consequences has exponentially increased since the machine is essential and you never reported it, even while they tried to fix it. This is a long way of saying that for things of the may magnitude, the truth can go a long way.
Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML
by Callum536 / 08/22/2016 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML
by contracted / 08/22/2016 at 1:49am / United States (California) / Work
dudeutookhrs's comment : Quit unofficially doing the job and say you're not qualified to train the new hire.
Today, I was on Tinder and only one girl matched with me. She gave me a "Super-Like" so I thought she must want to get to know each other and see what happens. Nope. She recognized me as the guy who adopted the stray cat she was taking care of last year, and just wanted to know how he was doing. FML
by SplitMind95 / 08/18/2016 at 11:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you should pay more bills than me, since you’re taller, you eat more, drink more and your clothes take up more space in the washing machine”. FML
by bigbaby / 09/16/2016 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML
by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health