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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (2183)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (4016)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

karatekid97's comment : You've got to be kitten me.

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Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (7322)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (4722)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

simsimbeep's comment : At least she told you....

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Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (7383)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

garrett_8614's comment : You: 0 You: 1 wait a minute.....

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Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19246) - you deserved it (37139)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (4280)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (5614)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)



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