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Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (4334)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

little_aliceee's comment : I wonder how painful it will be when he shits....

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Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Thenextguyover's comment : The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

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Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (3519)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Vagitarian1's comment : Guys have no idea what you girls go through.

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Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (3336)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

#21276013
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2235)

On 10/12/2014 at 2:40am - work - by stressed - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

#21275799
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (6582)

On 10/11/2014 at 8:11pm - misc - by dykerino (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML

#21275769
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (7777)

On 10/11/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by ojskyguy - United States (Mississippi)



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Friday 24 October 2014

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