Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

#21273859
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

fallencastiel's comment : At least you aren't a teacher getting mistaken for a freshman.

See all the comments →

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Croooow's comment : You might want to look into private school or advanced placement classes, or something along those lines. I'm sure this sounds presumptuous, and I'm sorry for that in advance, but it sounds like his current school situation isn't challenging him enough.

See all the comments →

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (2265)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (3059)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

sionis's comment : I agree that sucks but good on your for driving him home

See all the comments →

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33438) - you deserved it (4889)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

#21273246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (4487)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm - misc - by waternixie (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

#21273209
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (2312)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (2214)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

#21272741
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32360) - you deserved it (2765)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: