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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

#21376174
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (12192)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by ilovecharliesheen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

#21376143
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (10810)

On 03/17/2015 at 2:12am - work - by Boss Troubles - United States (California)

interesting33's comment : Just accept the offer he made and go first - it gets annoying when people can't accept stuff like that.

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Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

#21376116
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/17/2015 at 1:09am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

gracehi's comment : You mean being laughed at for your attempt at seduction didn't turn you on and make you feel super confident? How strange. No wonder he was confused.

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Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (3063)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Smooth_Criminal's comment : Since you can't enjoy the irony, I'll enjoy it for you. But seriously, I hope your mom is ok.

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Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

#21375726
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28352) - you deserved it (2264)

On 03/16/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by redneckpunk (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad turned up drunk to an intervention for my brother's drug addiction. FML

#21375677
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (2166)

On 03/16/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by not a jesse pinkman joke (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (3128)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (3063)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (2132)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

#21375288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/15/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by why - United States (Arizona)

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

#21375160
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (24025)

On 03/15/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by epicvixen - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

#21375070
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (2369)

On 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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