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Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

#21459168
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/22/2015 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Soloman212's comment : He's just bitter you'll probably soon replace him.

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Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (1544)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

milkman18's comment : Tell her you have a "thing" with Ryan Gosling and you totally get what she's talking about

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Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

XandraHart's comment : I think that's a win if she can't take a joke

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Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (7049)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my sister got promoted to manager at the store we both work at. Since company policy states that siblings can't work at the same store if one of them is a manager, I was let go. FML

#21459013
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1562)

On 08/21/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9474) - you deserved it (28244)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

#21458894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (5421)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32750) - you deserved it (1508)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (7901)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML

#21458738
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (1385)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22am - health - by ANON - United States (California)



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Tuesday 25 August 2015

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