Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML
by DuckyDew / 08/16/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Soninuva's comment : ALWAYS double check whom you have selected as the recipient, particularly if it's a less than friendly message.
by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by hannax / 08/16/2016 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health
Tripartita's comment : That seems a bit like overkill, doesn't it? You should just stick to the standard practice of covering yourself in Saran Wrap and hopping around the house.
by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
abbyade's comment : Time to tell him to get a grip. It isn't fair on you not your daughter. How will he like it if you introduced your daughter to various men and saying 'this your new daddy?'
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
by ZombiKilla / 08/15/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
by Felinefine / 08/15/2016 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Kids
Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my co-worker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady that lives next to me. Funny enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom who lived with me. FML
by anonymous adult / 08/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
by Raptorcake / 08/15/2016 at 8:50am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Holidays
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML
by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love