Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5462) - you totally deserved it (14924)
On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you totally deserved it (6322)
On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you totally deserved it (5110)
On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14032) - you totally deserved it (2578)
On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you totally deserved it (16984)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you totally deserved it (1068)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3706) - you totally deserved it (12205)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 9:50am - kids - by NewlyChildaphobic (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you totally deserved it (1634)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)
