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Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2574)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Finurlen's comment : That sucks, dude. Sorry for your loss.

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Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (2613)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

PoisonOrchid's comment : Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.

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Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (13011)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

iSativa's comment : "Who sings that?" "The girl from Frozen!" "Yeahhh, let's keep it that way."

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Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (3669)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (14727)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (7260)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (4617)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (5377)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (7164)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (2800)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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