Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33935) - you deserved it (21383)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (5295)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
↑ HKCgrimmjow's comment : I bet he was blindsided by that!
Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (5284)
On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (2748)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
↑ tacojauns's comment : Did she give you a burger without pickles?
Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (2733)
On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43576) - you deserved it (3615)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (2558)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (10146)
On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (20352)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (2581)
On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (23831)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (7550)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (2617)
On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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↑ Ctrl_H's comment : You got hit by a truck and the first thing you did was try to flirt?
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