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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (2582)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

devildog562's comment : Introduce her to the door and your foot to his ass. Red foreman style.

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Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

adamjcurryy's comment : There are two types of old people. Sweet and adorable ones and the spawns of Satan. No inbetween.

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Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (6435)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (5424)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

AlaskanG's comment : Locks help with that as well.

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Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39293) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (4094)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33623) - you deserved it (2050)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (2809)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

#21298300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (2570)

On 11/13/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by FuglyBetty (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

#21298006
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (3942)

On 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm - work - by thefatnurse - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

#21298148
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm - animals - by nenette - France

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (4174)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (3146)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)



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Friday 14 November 2014

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