by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love
Dat_Class_Tho's comment : So... is she trying to instigate a threesome? Or is she under the impression that she's just your beard and she thinks she's helping you get out of the closet? Or she thinks you are bisexual and only views your relationship as casual (not at all exclusive)? Or are you just as confused as we are?
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
by Screamslikeagirl / 09/27/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML
by Jade / 10/15/2016 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
by unluckysamaritan / 10/15/2016 at 4:51am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
by Neckbruise101 / 10/15/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by faeliality / 10/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by blue15564 / 09/26/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by jessiluvxx / 09/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
vreid's comment : I smell a large lawsuit giving you enough cash to send your newborn to college! Congratulations on the baby!
by comeonnow / 09/25/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
sillymama's comment : Ummm. No. Your moms boss hit your car. They need to be accountable for that.
by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 8:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Rizmo / 09/25/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML
by Braceyourself / 09/25/2016 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…