Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (4319)
On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (6216)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (3057)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (2050)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland
↑ theninja1800's comment : Out of all the types of annoying douchebags in the world, hypocrites are the worst.
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38637) - you deserved it (3787)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States
↑ DeidaraAkatsuki's comment : Be glad you didn't marry an asshole.
Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (3148)
On 06/15/2013 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (5169)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (3599)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (3625)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50132) - you deserved it (2943)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (16343)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44100) - you deserved it (4194)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34076) - you deserved it (3522)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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