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Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

UsernameTaken14's comment : Hmmmm... Sounds like he just likes to be nasty. I wouldn't talk to him much anymore.

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Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (4060)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

stryder9090's comment : I mustache you a question...WHY?!

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Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (3378)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Storvolleng's comment : do the next best thing and shout "oh god!" he would be so pissed if you said his fathers name!

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Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (4637)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (2553)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (6198)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you deserved it (6318)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34678) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (4744)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

#21340022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/19/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by momac86 - United States

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

#21339798
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States (Pennsylvania)



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