Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML
by Braceyourself / 09/25/2016 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Health
Today, after finally deciding to push past my extreme shyness, I talked to the person beside me in class. I was so nervous that when I went to take a sip of my coffee, it slipped out of my hand and splashed all over both of us. Not only did I ruin her white dress, but I also gave her mild burns. FML
by 242795 / 09/24/2016 at 2:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by broken / 09/22/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
gracehi's comment : At least he doesn't love you as a perfectly grilled steak. Then you'd be inside him and not in a fun way.
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
by car trouble / 10/14/2016 at 4:12am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation
Screwie's comment : Can you spell favouritism?
by LoadingMeows / 09/22/2016 at 9:17pm / United States / Work
RinoaHeartilly's comment : Are they stupid? There's no way that's legal.
by sweet pea / 09/22/2016 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, and for the past two weeks, the people living directly above me have decided to add rearranging their furniture to their daily routines. Not only that but apparently, 6 a.m. is the most optimal time for them. FML
by Yellowsmellow / 09/22/2016 at 1:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML
by NoTeddies / 09/21/2016 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML
by ArsonistsLullaby / 09/21/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML
by KillerChipmunk / 10/10/2016 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Miss_Whipped / 10/14/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML
by anonymous / 10/13/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…