Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML
by I was talking about her. / 06/29/2016 at 1:24am / Work
buckdharma's comment : Did she make you recite all 30 flavors, then chose vanilla?
by royallymessedup / 08/14/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Holidays
by datingfail / 08/14/2016 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
lostandconfused9's comment : Sounds like he's got a bright future
by Anonymous / 08/14/2016 at 2:16am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
dannidoll93's comment : I wouldn't worry OP, I'm sure if he'd slept with another woman with a bald vagina he'd have remembered and not been stupid enough to mistake her for you. Probably just a case of a fantasy misremembered as a memory. 15 years is a long time!
Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 9:51pm / Money
Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
by mcfatty / 08/14/2016 at 12:21am / India (Karnataka) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML
by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…