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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (10435)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (2559)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

never_alone's comment : how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper

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Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

triplebeerox's comment : You're only 20! You have a lifetime ahead of you. Finish school, travel, meet people! A relationship won't magically make you a happier person. Have fun while you can :-)

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Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (1829)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

1DisGR8's comment : At least you know you're a great human being for asking if he was okay even though you're the one who almost got killed!

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Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (3462)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (2335)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (2659)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (2209)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (7066)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (3535)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (2155)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (5805)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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