Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35869) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Welshite's comment : He makes you that lightheaded hmm? That's a sign of true love right there.

See all the comments →

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (42653)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Mattribute's comment : Couldn't you have ignored it completely?

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

BossMindedFemale's comment : Shrek the 4th.

See all the comments →

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

#21208684
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (6195)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (5246)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (8333)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (4225)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: