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Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (2466)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Hiimhaileypotter's comment : Awkward! Why would they invite your ex, though?

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Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (13539)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (5852)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

zBLAKEz's comment : Am I the only one that finds it odd how often this kind of thing happens? Where somebody wants the relationship to end and the other person wants to get married? If somebody is going to break up with you, wouldn't there be at least some signs ahead of time? Wouldn't things be going downhill? Maybe it's just me, but I'm always kind of surprised at how many people there are who propose to somebody who is about to break up with them, and the person proposing seems to have no idea that their partner was about to end things.

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Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (2783)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

ComoEsJuan's comment : Just trying to get a McHandJob.

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Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (6336)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

#21311807
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/05/2014 at 1:17am - money - by still poor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (2695)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2195)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I was doing a nice thing when I spent hundreds of dollars to get my friend a plane ticket home. She yelled at me when I gave it to her. Turns out, she planned on spending a few more months freeloading off me. FML

#21311645
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/04/2014 at 9:04pm - money - by yourewelcome (woman) - United States (Florida)



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