Today, I woke up with a nasty cough. My mother gave me cough syrup for it. After about 30 minutes, I was dizzy, nauseous, and high as a fucking kite. Turns out the cough syrup reacts badly with my prescription medications, making me even sicker than I already was. FML
by Chard of Glass / 10/04/2016 at 8:45am / Canada (Newfoundland) / Health
Today, I'm a college student. Just like every other goddamn day, my roommate set about twenty alarms a good two hours before she even needs to get up. She just sleeps through the first hour or so of alarms while I wake up. I've been waking up at 6 a.m., even though my first classes are at 9. FML.
by plzstop / 10/04/2016 at 7:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
inks98's comment : Have you thought about talking to your roommate? Maybe she'll understand if you ask her to set fewer alarms!
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work
Dreamsorrow93's comment : Wow shocking. A bank trying to shove more services down your throat.
by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Eitanm's comment : Lol, everyone knows that you need Gatorade to cool down a computer. The electrolytes are good for it
by rufus_t_firefly / 10/03/2016 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
by padre74 / 10/03/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML
by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work
by Rejected / 10/03/2016 at 12:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 10:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML
by wasp infestation / 10/03/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, a street "musician" drummed on buckets directly outside my work for two hours. Right as I was about to lose it, he stopped playing. Within 5 minutes, someone else started playing the saxophone. FML
by bambisapphic / 10/02/2016 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…