Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Work
RabbitOfAurora's comment : If you really think about it people are just very intelligent meat. I guess cooked meat smells good no matter what the species.
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
lilycups's comment : Do you actually do porn or was that an instinctual joke?
by married to a bipedal husky / 07/12/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love
warrior2's comment : Why all the rrrrrrrrs?
Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML
by wellthen / 07/12/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
by TooGulible / 07/12/2016 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Sarcasmo / 07/12/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML
by Victoria / 07/12/2016 at 10:10am / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML
by CallmeTokey / 07/11/2016 at 11:21pm / Miscellaneous
by katiebug / 07/11/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek
by Bestbirthday / 07/11/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Midion / 07/11/2016 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Transportation
Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML
by FML / 07/11/2016 at 5:16pm / United States (New York) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…