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Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

#3515386
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13226) - you deserved it (49790)

On 07/05/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by smth (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (21102)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

#3511573
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:06pm - health - by yeasty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

#3510795
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57010) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (59414)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45028) - you deserved it (1950)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (19623)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51966) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61073) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47132) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (1863)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (47714)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)



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