Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 4:47am / France / Intimacy

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 1:00am / Love

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

by person123abc / 12/09/2010 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

by owew / 12/09/2010 at 12:33am / Love

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

by grossedout / 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

by gudmarjoh / 12/08/2010 at 6:09pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

by Invisible / 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got feedback on an essay I wrote, by my mum who is also a teacher. She said it was 'worse than most of her pupils'. She teaches 10-year-olds. I'm a 20-year-old student at university. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation