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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (14284)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

#12612663
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (2757)

On 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm - health - by gorey - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (30179)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (10604)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML

#12606847
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (14052)

On 08/18/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

#12604677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (7278)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by Funless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11792) - you deserved it (61821)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

BluPenguin's comment : YOU DESERVE IT FOR THROWING SHIT OUT OF THE WINDOW WHILE DRIVING!!!

See all the comments →

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (12613)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (3138)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52093) - you deserved it (14628)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (2902)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (17317)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version



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