Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (1940)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by Rachel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (240625)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (7311)
On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (1713)
On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)
Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (6701)
On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (49452)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35439) - you deserved it (6176)
On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (1445)
On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)
Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12378) - you deserved it (36772)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19183) - you deserved it (4455)
On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)
Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (2602)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (3039)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)
Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (2093)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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↑ HAnkYPoo's comment : I just hope your boyfriend is banging someone else.
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