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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML

#12348223
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47123) - you deserved it (5498)

On 08/06/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by ditched?? - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

#12346670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (3837)

On 08/06/2010 at 3:07am - love - by rachaaaaeul - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I'm a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML

#12346285
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9428) - you deserved it (44487)

On 08/06/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by riahta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (8144)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43547) - you deserved it (5634)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (40688)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

#12334869
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (4357)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (3582)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (3737)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (11435)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

#12327925
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11189) - you deserved it (52919)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:14am - money - by 8to10days (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9520) - you deserved it (45114)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58469) - you deserved it (4209)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)



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