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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13772) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (3804)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (1528)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (40587)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11489) - you deserved it (4961)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (6974)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (2931)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

#4715
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35683) - you deserved it (4072)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Bear - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17986) - you deserved it (1851)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (5642)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7955) - you deserved it (14532)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5338) - you deserved it (22390)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3835) - you deserved it (11673)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version



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