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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (44568)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (8188)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after saving up my money for weeks, I went to see my favorite artist in concert with my friends. Two songs in, I passed out, hit my head, and had to have someone drive me home. FML

#12456639
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (7008)

On 08/11/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

#12453698
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16974) - you deserved it (25784)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by Jorgina226 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

#12453320
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you deserved it (39051)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by nina - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

#12450514
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/11/2010 at 8:01am - work - by stuck (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (4321)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35139) - you deserved it (4054)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

#12449213
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (14552)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:16am - intimacy - by KBL3 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37214) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

#12443744
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (5339)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:09am - love - by bitchasshonky - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

#12439664
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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