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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (36770)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

jimmyrules's comment : Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.

See all the comments →

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

#12483981
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (2621)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

#12483686
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5721) - you deserved it (54934)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by fullmoonfml (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

#12481000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (42661)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (34758)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

#12475653
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (3602)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:50am - work - by leonieNL (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (3632)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

#12473698
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15755) - you deserved it (45751)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by kggggg - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said "Nice to Meet You." I've been working there for 3 months. FML

#12472687
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (4355)

On 08/12/2010 at 5:03am - work - by skyphoenix (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

#12472098
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (8914)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:07am - misc - by antisocial (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (46180)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

#12467820
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

#12467106
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (4340)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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