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Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML

#5705668
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34414) - you deserved it (4531)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by pennyhater (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

#5705079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (11563)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

#5703521
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39422) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/07/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6769) - you deserved it (46551)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (2851)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166433) - you deserved it (8217)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

adelaide_evening's comment : Well then, I guess it's a good thing your grandparents raised you, isn't it?

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

#5699766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (4252)

On 10/07/2009 at 8:31am - misc - by 3lavyaa - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (11260)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11284) - you deserved it (35339)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working on my laptop, I accidentally spilled a glass of water. I quickly moved my laptop out of the way of the oncoming stream. It fell on the floor and broke. FML

#5698793
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (9032)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:25am - misc - by 1000dollarspoor - United States (California)

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (11523)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

#5698156
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13377) - you deserved it (37071)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoeaddiikt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46989) - you deserved it (10495)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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