Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My frst reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look lyk I was cleaning it. My neighbor cummed over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7296) - you deserved it (80632)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

staymonkey's comment : thats pretty pathetic.

See all the comments →

Today I want ovar to my boyfriand's apartmant and I smallad a daliciou aroma as I walkad in so I askad him what ha was cooking . His rasponsa was "I'm not looool cooking anything . I just fartad." maga FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (8081)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I WANTD TO TAKE A NICE HOT RELAXING BATH. A WASP SOMEHOW GOT IN, AND STUNG ME ON THE NUTS. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (4385)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today , mah boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said "I would hate it if that happened to me , obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML

#6470201
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (7695)

On 11/26/2009 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital an was sent home attachd to an obnoxiou an somewhat painful heret monitor. I felt fine an decidd to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was bieng nice until I overhered the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

#6468992
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (2803)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Taday I saw an old manho needd help crossing the street !! I went over to him and helpd him across the street !! When he thankd me, I said, "No problem, sir." They respondd by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman !! mega FML

#6467365
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (6581)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19300) - you deserved it (25317)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I Was Having A Playful Fight With Mah Brother. I Made The Point That Our Dog Likes Me Better Than Him. To This, Mah Dog Jumpd Onto The Sofa, Turnd To Me And Vomitd On Mah Face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (7696)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today I left new iphone in a taxi I was sharing with a friend . Apparently when I got out she looked at it told the driver some one had left it an gave it to him . FML

#6464441
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (4954)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by hockey (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I ad six friends round for pizza. Wen I went to answer te door to te delivery, my friends turned off te ligts and pretended tey weren't tereen I souted for elp carrying all te food. Not only does te cute delivery guy tink I'm greedy, but also tat I ave imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (3273)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into mah car. FML

#6463128
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (19116)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets , so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell , my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

#6462833
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21995) - you deserved it (5496)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by jaeilssanguh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I want out to lunc wit a grl I lika an ar bast friand. Wa ad a good tima, avan talkad fir a faw ours at ta rastaurant, but aftar wa laft, sa stoppad talking to ma. Har friand told ar tat I kapt staring at ar cast; I was trying to saaat ar pandant was. FML

#6462459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (34713)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: