Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (6705)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (5940)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (3613)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

#7394843
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (4672)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:20am - love - by notpregnant (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (6064)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (5540)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

#7390812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (8907)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (5795)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)



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